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out of control

By 30 August 2023No Comments


A topic that is coming up a lot at the moment in my client work is the feeling that much seems out of their control. They are having to operate, lead their teams, deliver results in an environment where many factors are imposed on them, and these factors make it difficult for them to do their job well. Or so it feels.


Of course, they know in theory that it is a waste of their energy to focus too much on those things that they cannot influence, and to turn their attention instead on what they can change. The challenge lies in where they see that boundary, because quite often their area of influence appears very small. But is it?


Sometimes, taking a step back and getting to the bottom of what we find difficult can help unstick things. When we can put our finger on what we are truly feeling, and then reflect on what is assumption versus what is fact, we can already shift our perspective a bit.


Perhaps we might seek out help from someone else who’s been there and done that, or who is currently going through the same challenges, and see what we might learn from each other.


Maybe the biggest shift in perspective is if we can find a way to choose our circumstances. Everything might feel really hard, and we might have no say in any of it, but if we know why we are doing it in the first place, we will accept the situation far more readily. If we know why we are in this job and remind ourselves of the greater purpose (e.g. provide for our family, gain experience for our next career step etc…), then when the going gets tough, we are more likely to accept it and live it well than if we just focus on the annoying decisions made by head office overseas.


We know that mindset is everything, and of course we can’t think our way out of every miserable situation, but we do have more agency and control that we think on how we perceive our circumstances. Give it a try and see what you can shift!


And remember that you don’t have to do it all on your own. So if you want to bounce ideas around on what’s possible, get in touch and let’s chat.